


today, i somehow understand the reason i was born

by honey_butter



Series: the chronicles of cathilda the small [1]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M, Older Characters, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, literally everyone is in this fic, seriously this is gonna give you a cavity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28685151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_butter/pseuds/honey_butter
Summary: “Meet Cathilda Aramais Seacaster, the Small,” Fabian says and okay, woah, this close up the combined Fabian and baby are kind of too cute to handle.Cathilda is so so tiny in Fabian’s arms, her skin much darker than his and hair a deep black, and Riz really wants to hold her, but is also still in cute-ness overload and can’t quite get himself to move.Or, Fabian acquires a baby, Riz becomes a parent, and everyone else chips in.
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Series: the chronicles of cathilda the small [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120820
Comments: 50
Kudos: 159





	today, i somehow understand the reason i was born

**Author's Note:**

> hello intrepid heroes!! i have been *cough cough* mentally illllll and wanted something to make me happy, so i wrote this incredibly fluffy fabriz kid fic. i hope you enjoy!!
> 
> thank you to grace @/audiodramatist for beta-ing and letting me know cortana the windows assistant isn't the same as a cortado. and thank you to des @/collectoroflovelythings for talking to me about this fic and naming gorgug's daughter drigka!! it's literally a perfect name and i will not get over it.
> 
> title is from fair by the amazing devil because it makes my heart _hurt_

“The Ball, we have a situation.”

It’s two a.m., a casualty of the time difference between Fabian’s location on the other side of the globe and Riz’s in Elmville, and Riz is wide awake. Fabian, who calls whenever the magical or technological means are available, always takes this as a given and never bothers to say hello or any other normal-person conversation starters.

“Are you okay?” Riz immediately asks. The nature of the spells or cell towers Fabian uses means that they usually have limited time to talk, or, at least, limited time until the line gets so garbled with magic that it’s unintelligible, so he likes to get straight to the point. Fabian, unfortunately, does not.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Er. I mean. I’m not  _ fine, _ but I’m… There was a battle.”

“You’re hedging,” Riz points out, shoving his crystal between his ear and shoulder and moving over to his desk to pour himself another cup of coffee. It seems like he’s going to need it.

Fabian blows out a long breath that turns into a sigh and Riz can picture him on the other side, shoulders hunched from weariness and mouth downturned. “So… the situation. I’m, uh, I’m coming home. Probably. Soon.”

There are two wolves inside of Riz: one is bouncing off the walls with excitement over seeing his friend so much sooner than expected, the other is worried about whatever Fabian’s still hiding. He decides to go with the second one.

“...Why?”

“Well… I kind of, um, found a—”

_ “A baby?!” _ Kristen shrieks as soon as Fabian pulls to a stop in front of his and Riz’s apartment building—they share an apartment, which doesn’t mean much because Fabian is only ever home three months a year at most, what with the whole professional adventurer gig.

And, yep. That’s a real baby tucked into a sling against Fabian’s chest, her little face smooth from sleep and dark, unruly curls frazzled from the wind.

Kristen knew about the baby ahead of time, obviously. She’d gone with Riz and Gorgug to Fantasy Ikea for the crib and extra dresser, but Riz is entirely in agreement with her outcry. A real life baby is going to be living in his apartment now, for an indefinite amount of time that may or may not continue until adulthood. But that’s silly, because it would mean he’d stay with Fabian for the twenty-something years it takes to raise the child.

Because, technically, it is Fabian’s baby. Not like his  _ baby _ baby, he isn’t biologically tied to her, but he did sort of maybe kill her birth father in a big duel thing and win her as a prize. Or something. Riz isn’t entirely comfortable with the fact that she’s a spoil of Fabian  _ killing someone _ but Fabian seems excited. Nervous, sure, and a little strung out—she’s a  _ magic _ prize baby, and Fabian has to look after her for at least three years or her father will come back as some sort of unkillable ghost or something, Riz isn’t really sure what the whole picture is—but Riz hasn’t heard him talk this fast about something in a long time.

Fabian dismounts from the Hangman, graceful movements not jostling a single hair on the baby’s head, and lopes over to them. His smile is so wide it looks like it must hurt, and it’s directed fully at Riz, who’s having trouble not rocking in anxious excitement. They’re thirty-four now. Solidly in and even past baby-having age. It’s just, well, the baby is also going to be kind of his, as long as Fabian is living with him. And Riz may or may not be completely in love with the guy, so it’s not like he’s planning to move out anytime soon.

They didn’t  _ have _ to take the baby. Their combined sainthood, oracle-ism, and heavenly and hellish persuasions could have come to a different solution, and Riz could move out even if Fabian didn’t want to give the baby up, but Fabian called him a minute after holding her for the first time and the love and hope in his voice… Riz would fight and fight and fight to protect that love and hope.

“Meet Cathilda Aramais Seacaster, the Small,” Fabian says and okay, woah, this close up the combined Fabian and baby are kind of too cute to handle.

Cathilda is so so tiny in Fabian’s arms, her skin much darker than his and hair a deep black, and Riz really wants to hold her, but is also still in cute-ness overload and can’t quite get himself to move.

“She’s beautiful,” Gorgug says, voice startling Riz out of his one-sided staring contest with a sleeping infant.

Gorgug is the only one of them who has kids, so Riz guesses he would know. Fig doesn’t shut up about her plans for having a baby with Ayda, and Adaine likes to talk about adopting teenagers, but Fabian and, sort of, Riz are now among the first of the bad kids venturing into the new and uncharted realm of child-rearing. Kristen makes disgusted faces whenever kids are brought up, regardless of the fact that she’s functionally running an orphanage as an extension of her church.

Fabian’s still looking at Riz expectantly, so he takes a moment to clear his throat and steps forward towards him. “When did you decide on Cathilda?” Maybe not the best first thing to say, when confronted with a baby who isn’t quite your baby but isn’t quite not.

Last they’d spoken, Fabian had been in the process of acquiring said baby legally, and was leaning towards a traditional elven name. Admittedly, Riz is relieved he hadn’t gone with it, but still, he wishes he’d been kept in the loop. That had been three days ago, though, and Riz knows how quickly Fabian changes his mind.

“I know you didn’t like Allethriellethelella—”

“I’m sorry,  _ what?” _ Kristen interrupts.

Fabian ignores her, “And, well, I didn’t want to name her Sklonda without talking to you. And she was here. Alive. And I couldn’t just not give her a name.”

“I like Cathilda,” Riz assures, even though every other part of his brain is screaming, “ _ You were going to name her after my mom?!” _

“Good, good, that’s good.” 

Fabian’s still smiling expectantly at him so Riz swallows his emotions and steps forward, reaching out tentatively, “Can I hold her?”

Riz reaches to him as Fabian holds Cathilda out, and they meet in the middle. Riz’s breath is caught in his throat as his hands, normally so little compared to other people’s, wrap around the baby and as Fabian repositions them so that he’s supporting her correctly. He takes her from Fabian’s arms fully and cradles her against his chest and there’s an emotion rising in his stomach, in his throat, that is so big, so overwhelming that he can’t name it.

And then she opens her eyes. Blinks up at him. 

And Riz loves her.

Riz looks up at Fabian and finds him looking back already, head tilted down subconsciously. They haven’t seen each other in months and now they have a  _ baby _ and Riz really does need to sit him down and have that conversation about whether this is a roommate-baby thing or a our-baby thing but right now he can’t do anything but grin up at him.

“Hi,” he says, quietly, his first greeting.

Kristen and Gorgug wisely turn away now, talking loudly to afford them some semblance of privacy. Adaine and Fig are busy and would be over for dinner later, so, for a moment, it’s just the two of them. Well, the two of them and Cathilda, who, with a cursory look down, is blinking owlishly up at Riz’s face.

“Hello, The Ball,” Fabian’s quiet voice is deep and rumbly and causes Riz’s tail to twitch.

“You better not get her to call me that,” he warns, but still low enough that it comes out disgustingly soft.

“Oh, I’m already planning on it.” Riz can tell it isn’t a calculated movement, because it’s Fabian, but he still can’t help feeling like he’s being teased a little bit as Fabian reaches out and wraps a warm hand around his bicep.

“She’s… wow,” he says, changing the subject.

“I know.” And there’s laughter in Fabian’s voice, a tinge that makes Riz want to hear more.

“Are we… are we really doing this?” He asks, because even this overwhelmed he still has to make sure, still has to check he isn’t getting his hopes up too much.

“Yeah, yeah, we are,” Fabian agrees, stupid smiling. “If that’s still okay.”

They’d talked about it. Of course, they’d talked about. That first late night call was just one of many whisking them along on this fast paced journey to parenthood, and they’d talked about what it would mean for each of them, what it didn’t have to mean for Riz, what their options were. Riz had never been able to say no to Fabian before, and this time was no exception. But the decision, to really do this, was for him too.

“It’s more than okay. She’s… I  _ love _ her, Fabian.”

“I know, I  _ know.” _ He squeezes his hand around Riz’s arm just a little tighter and Riz feels himself leaning into him but can’t stop, can’t pull back.

“Get a room!” Kristen shouts, because she’d been too considerate for too long.

Gorgug shushes her but it’s too late. Riz leans away and Fabian drops his hand. It’s fine, it’s all fine, it’s not like Riz was going to _kiss_ _him_ on the street anyway. While holding Cathilda. Silly, really, to even think about it. _Come on, Riz, put yourself back together._

They trade a few quips together, as a group, and Gorgug takes Cathilda from Riz. Kristen pokes her little forehead critically, causing Cathilda to blink extra long up at her and then break out into those wet little baby noises. She’s adorable. And gross. There’s drool on her chin. And  _ ew, _ Gorgug just wiped it away with his sweater. He’s gonna have to get over the “gross” thing, he guesses, because Fabian’s going to have a conniption if  _ he _ ever has to do something like that.

Finally, Riz feels Fabian bumping his hand into Riz’s side in that completely nonchalant way he knows means he wants something. “What?” He hisses, poking him back.

“I’m tired,” Fabian whines. “And we’re having  _ everyone  _ over for dinner. I know you haven’t cleaned.”

“Yeah, like you would.”

“That doesn’t change my point, The Ball,” he draws out the ‘a’ in a long, obnoxious sigh. Riz wants to kiss him. He settles for stomping on his foot.

“Hey, guys,” Riz says, to Kristen and Gorgug, “let’s head in. The baby needs a nap.”

“She’s pretty awake right now,” Gorgug, bless his little heart, responds with a quirk of his brow.

“I wasn’t talking about that one.” He bounds away to their apartment building before his words hit, but still has to make a dex save to avoid the… branch(?) Fabian hurls his way.

“Oh, that is  _ low.” _ Fabian’s whining dials up to eleven and Riz has to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from letting out a loud squawk of laughter.

“By low, you mean true,” Kristen says, hurrying to catch up to him. “Also, Riz, do you still have those crackers I gave you, like, two months ago? Tracker ate all of ours and—”

“I knew you were just using our pantry for extra storage space,” Fabian calls up to them.

“You weren’t even here!” Riz shouts back, before sighing and pushing open the door with his back, “And, yeah, we do. Just take them home with you when you’re done.”

“Fuck yes, dude!” Kristen takes that as an invitation and zooms up the stairs in front of him.

“You don’t even have a key!”

“I’ll  _ make one.” _

“Must be good crackers,” Gorgug says, in his usual quiet voice, from where he and Fabian are approaching.

Cathilda’s still cradled in his arms, raptly watching him like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. Although, she probably doesn’t even know what sliced bread is. Best thing since… the womb, then.

“I literally have not opened them. I almost threw them away twice.”

“Hoarder,” Fabian shoots at him, smirking.

“Inconsiderate,” Riz fires off without missing a beat, and sticks his tongue out when Fabian makes an offended face.

“I’ll have you know I’m  _ plenty _ considerate.” Lifting a hand to his heart, Fabian follows Riz into the building, “Just wait until you’re dead on your feet from four nights of baby duty and I heat up your coffee for you. I’m gonna be the  _ best _ coparent.”

“Pff,” Riz says back. “Yeah, right. You don’t even know how to use the microwave.”

“You know, Zelda’s dad didn’t let me say  _ anything  _ negative in front of our first for months,” Gorgug pipes up, thoughtfully. “I thought I was going to snap.”

“Isn’t her entire family barbarians?”

“Yeah. There was a lot of time spent in the Rage Room.”

“Well, Cathilda’s going to have to put up with some negativity because there’s no way we’re going to squeeze  _ everyone _ into the apartment this evening without someone receiving a death threat,” Fabian says.

And, yeah, okay. Maybe the first night with the baby and the first night with Fabian back wasn’t the best day to shove every single one of their friends and family into their (admittedly giant, because Fabian is stupidly rich) apartment. It’s only been a few minutes but Riz already needs to decompress. Something he’s not going to get anytime soon if his memory of Gorgug’s baby time is accurate. He’s excited anyway, mostly because he wants to introduce Cathilda to his mom so much it’s taking up, like, half of his processing power.

“Are you actually tired?” He asks Fabian as they near the top of the steps, pulling up short just slightly to make sure Fabian knows he’s seriously asking.

“Yes, but—”

“Don’t worry, dude, I’ll show Riz what to do,” Gorgug offers, and Riz sees his arms have automatically started rocking Cathilda when she started babbling. “I’ve done this twice before, I’m basically a pro.”

“Okay, well—”

“Take a nap, Fabian,” Riz says, letting his hand brush briefly against Fabian’s. “But not in your room, the crib’s in there and I want to make sure we have access in case she crashes.”

Fabian lets the hand brush turn into a tangling of their fingers, tugging Riz just slightly closer to him, “Thank you. Both of you.”

“It’s no problem. I’ve been missing this,” Gorgug says, cooing gently to Cathilda.

“You’ve been taking care of her alone for a week now,” Riz says, because it’s true. “You deserve a break. This is the least I can do.”

“The Ball, you’re the best baby daddy a guy could ask for.” It’s said with a big enough shit eating grin to let Riz know he shouldn’t get  _ too _ offended, but he can’t help putting up a little bit of a fight.

_ “Don’t _ call me that.”

“What? Baby daddy? Or just the daddy part?”

“I will hit you,” Riz threatens.

“He doesn’t mean that, Cathilda,” Gorgug says to her. “We don’t hit people when we’re mad.”

“Says the barbarian with reckless attack,” Fabian points out.

“Your dad should really go take his nap now, shouldn’t he?” Gorgug coos, in a way that reminds both Fabian and Riz that he probably has the power to turn their daughter permanently against them.

Riz chokes on a laugh and can’t do anything to stop a giant smile from taking over his face once again.

Fabian sleeps for four and a half hours. In Riz’s bed. Which, honestly, Riz hasn’t slept in for a few days—between the really interesting article he’d been researching and the whole baby thing, he had even less time than usual to settle down and sleep—but it’s still A Thing in Riz’s brain now. Fabian in his bed. Fabian bringing home their child. It’s… it’s honestly too much for Riz to think about right now.

Especially when he’s focusing so hard on Gorgug Thistlespring’s How To Parent crash course, with brief interjections from Kristen Applebees, The Totally Qualified Saint—at least that’s her preferred title. Despite all of their planning, Riz still struggles to find the formula when Cathilda starts screaming for it, and he worries she’s woken Fabian, but a cursory check in his room proves him wrong and gives Riz an eyeful of Fabian once again in only a muscle tank and drooling all over Riz’s pillow. Cute. And gross. That’s kind of Riz’s general consensus for the day: cute and gross.

It doesn’t take long after feeding time before she crashes and Riz puts her to bed in her crib, with Gorgug’s help. They kick back on the couch for about ten minutes before Cathilda is screaming again, and then they kick back on the couch with Cathilda held solidly against Riz’s chest. 

He’s glad she doesn’t hate him. That had been his biggest worry going into all of this; that he wouldn’t even be able to hold his daughter without her screaming for someone else. That he would mess up and drop her on her soft baby head. That he would have to run away and leave the baby caring all to Fabian even though he’d insisted again and again that he wanted to do this too, that this was the decision he was making.

So far, though, none of that has happened. And that leaves Riz happy, even if his arms are already a little tired from the baby holding, and his head is a little tired thinking about all the people they’re going to have to deal with soon.

Gorgug helps him change Cathilda’s diaper and if Riz of the past thought things had been gross before… oh, baby. But he doesn’t have too much time to worry about it, because it’s nearing four, and people are set to arrive at four thirty, which means four ten for Adaine and Sklonda-and-Gorthalax (the Gorthalax only showing up that early because he’s tied to the Sklonda), and Riz decides that Fabian should be granted at least ten minutes of recovery time between his sleep-nap and company.

With Cathilda left in the care of Gorgug and Kristen, Gorgug being the operating member, Riz slips away to his bedroom. Fabian’s still snoring and still drooling, body contorted in a deeply weird way that Riz has never gotten used to in all their years of friendship.

“Fabian, Fabian,” Riz hisses, approaching loudly to alert him to his presence. “Fabian, wake up.”

“Whasitoo,” Fabian says, intelligently, and burrows his head deeper into Riz’s pillow.

“Come on, buddy, up and at ‘em. Oh no, I’m already starting to turn into my mom.” Riz places his hand gently on Fabian’s shoulder. 

It’s a process, waking Fabian. Too quickly and he’ll either punch you and/or be groggy for the next three hours, at least. Too slowly and he refuses to get out of bed. Riz, having been friends with him for over twenty years and living with him for nearly half of that, has had practice in the art of Fabian-waking. Some may even say he’s an expert. Some being Riz, because if there’s a degree on his wall, no one’s ever seen it.

“Fabian. Dude. Cathilda misses you.” Riz slides his hand slowly over Fabian’s shoulder, coaxing him out of the cocoon figuration until he’s turned mostly on his back and could now see Riz if he opened his eye.

“Five more minutes?” Good. That was intelligible, at least.

“People are gonna be here in ten. Come on, sleepy head. Wakey wakey. I’ll have Gilear pick you up a cortado.”

Fabian cracks his eyelid, “Really?”

“No. But you’re awake now so I win anyway. Up we go.”

“Don’t wanna get up. Smells like you.” And Fabian did  _ not _ just say that, in his stupidly deep sleep-voice, all comfortable in Riz’s bed. Because if he did, Riz might just combust on the spot.

“Well, I’m not in bed. Get up and you can smell the real me.”  _ What does that even mean? _ Riz’s brain screams into the void in eternal torment.

If Fabian were anymore awake right now he would be smirking, Riz knows it, but he isn’t, so instead, a very sleepy, very clingy Fabian pushes himself into a sitting position in Riz’s bed and handily wins the strength contest to pull Riz into his chest. Riz thinks his heart might hammer hard enough to break his bones, and he’s pretty sure he’d be better off shriveling up and dying when Fabian buries his nose into the side of Riz’s neck and breathes in, deeply.

“Now I’m in bed  _ and _ smelling the real you.” And Fantasy Jesus, what is going on? How did Riz lose the plot of this encounter so thoroughly? If this is what parenthood is like he is more than willing to stay on the team for all of it.

“You are—”

And it’s a good thing Kristen interrupts, because Riz doesn’t know where he was going with that sentence, but it can’t have been anywhere good. A muffled, “You guys better be decent because I’m comin’ in,” is shouted through the door, and then a very ginger, very nosy lesbian is barging into Riz’s bedroom and completely ruining the moment.

“They’re just canoodling!” She yells back out the door to Gorgug, who whisper shouts back, “Cathilda is sleeping!”

“What?” Riz asks, trying to pull away from Fabian but finding himself securely grappled in what is quite possibly the world’s best hug.

“Just wondering if I need to pick anything up for dinner. I have no clue what the plan is.” She pushes some of the clean laundry from Riz’s desk chair to the floor and sits on it, spinning from side to side as she watches them.

“I have chicken to heat up,” Riz answers, and then winces when he realizes that might not have been the best idea for a big family gathering like this.

Fabian groans and the sound reverberates through Riz’s body, sending shockwaves straight into his overactive heart. “If you think you’re feeding our family microwave chicken that’s probably way past its expiration date, you have another thing coming.”

“Hey, I—”

“Cathilda offered to prepare a meal. Or, well, Cathilda Senior. Cathilda the Black. I’ll have to ask if title or suffix is better.”

“She shouldn’t be cooking for all of us, Fabian,” Riz sighs. He’d thought he’d educated Fabian enough on the whole former-maid, mostly-mother thing, but apparently not.

“She isn’t. Jawbone’s making something, too. And Ragh and Zelda.”

“Shit, should I call Tracker and tell her to bring something? I already finished all those crackers.” Kristen moves to grab her crystal but Fabian just shakes his head.

“I have a feeling we’ll have more than enough food. It sounded like they were all making a full meal.”

“Well, we’ve got… eighteen people. So I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” Riz doesn’t congratulate himself at all for how quickly he calculates their total party, because he’s over thirty and past feeling proud of simple math skills like that. Okay, maybe he congratulates himself a little. And then a thought hits him. “Fabian, have you really been the one in charge of organizing this? It should’ve been on me.”

“This is kind of one of my things, The Ball,” Fabian says, flippantly, like he hasn’t been doing all of the adulting for the two of them. “Also, I told you that you would eat your words. Not so inconsiderate now, am I?”

“Fabian, you’re… Gah, why are you like this?” Riz bemoans, sinking further into his grasp.

Kristen pushes herself from the chair, bending over and placing the now slightly disarrayed pile of laundry back onto it as she goes, “Well, I’m just gonna go then. So you can get back to whatever you were doing.”

“We weren’t doing anything,” Riz says, as Fabian mutters, “Kristen, really?” into his shoulder.

“Keep telling yourselves that,” She says, and breezes from the room, slamming the door much too loudly for the sleeping baby in the house.

Fabian squeezes Riz tighter for a second before mumbling into the junction of his neck and shoulder, “We should probably go.”

“I missed you,” Riz says, because he doesn’t want Fabian to let him go just yet, no matter the interruption.

“That’s good, because I’m going to be sticking around for a while.” And then, softer, “I missed you too, The Ball.”

“I’m glad you’re home again.”

“Finally, now that I’m with you,” Fabian says, before dropping his arms and stretching into a back-bending yawn.

Riz… Riz can’t focus on that right now because he can hear the sound of commotion outside, the distinct scraping of their front door and his mom’s voice.  _ Shit. _ He wanted to be there when she first saw Cathilda.

“We gotta go, come on, come on,” and now Riz is push-pulling Fabian from bed, who’s gamely letting him because he could definitely resist the strength check.

Fabian’s still yawning as Riz tugs him by the hand into the hallway and out into the main room. “Sklonda!” He crows, anyway, when he sees her standing next to Gorgug and smiling sweetly at the baby.

She looks up, and Riz knows she heard them coming but is acting like she didn’t, “Fabian, so good to see you again!”

“I see you’ve met Cathilda already.” Fabian drops Riz’s hand and rolls his shoulders in one final stretch, before taking Cathilda from Gorgug, who looks more than a little disappointed at her loss.

Riz approaches them, and he’s pretty collected for someone who’s having a hard time trying to figure out what to say to his mom that isn’t just,  _ “Well, yep, that’s my baby now, uh, want some coffee?” _ Cathilda is perked up from the talking, and she blinks at Sklonda prettily, before her eyes track over to find Riz standing at Fabian’s elbow. She gurgles, happily, and Riz has to laugh at the offended look on Fabian’s face.

“Looks like she already has a favorite,” Gorthalax says, from where he’d been putting chips in the kitchen with Kristen.

“Rude, Cathilda the Small. Very rude,” Fabian shakes his head at her. Riz wacks him in the back with his tail.

Feeling Sklonda watching him, Riz decides he has to say  _ something _ to his mom. What comes out isn’t much better than anything else he’d come up with. “So, how do you like your granddaughter?” Nice, Riz. Smooth. The last time he’d talked to Sklonda about this, he’d been adamant on the whole ‘Fabian’s Baby’ thing. Not his, Fabian’s, haha that’s so weird that Fabian’s baby would be his too. Why would you say something like that, Mom?

She doesn’t look surprised though, just smiles at him before turning back to the baby and reaching out to take her from Fabian’s arms, “She’s beautiful.”

And Riz can’t help but beam at that.

“Would you be willing to contribute a middle name?” Fabian asks, the second he can tell Sklonda is happy with the child, “She doesn’t have any right now, and, well, I was going to name her after you to begin with but then there wasn’t any cell service and—”

“Won’t I be sharing a last name anyway?” Sklonda asks, and, oh, Riz knows that look in her eye, that quirk of her mouth.

He loves his mom, he really,  _ really _ does. But she’s a meddler, sometimes, and too smart for him to hide anything from. And he wouldn’t change a single thing about her.

“Aha, well,” Fabian laughs, a bit pained, and doesn’t even bother to turn that into a sentence.

“I would love to,” she says, kindly, letting him off the hook even though she wouldn’t for Riz.

“Cathilda Sklonda Aramais Seacaster, the Small, it is, then,” Fabian says, proudly, startling Riz as he wraps his arm around Riz’s waist.

Stupid long dancer arms. Most medium sized people struggle to do that.

“That’s a great name. Always respect parents who give titles,” Gorthalax the Insatiable rumbles. “Is there anything I can do to help set up?”

Fabian’s arm leaves Riz’s side just as quickly as it arrived, and he breezes away towards the kitchen with Gorthalax in tow, speaking loftily about how he’d told The Ball to restock on celery but he’s  _ sure _ he didn’t.

Gorgug stands there, looks between Sklonda and Riz, scratches the back of his head, and mumbles, “I’m just gonna call Zelda and see how the kids are doing.”

The second they’re alone, Sklonda’s attention snaps directly to Riz. He feels like she’s taking an x-ray scan of his soul. “This is a big deal, kiddo.”

“I know, Mom, but we already talked about it, didn’t we?” Riz squirms a little, and suddenly he’s fourteen and a freshman again, getting told off for not sleeping for a week.

“No, I mean it’s a big deal for you and Fabian. A big deal for your relationship. The baby,” she lifts up Cathilda, who smiles up at her and causes both Sklonda and Riz to pause for a second to coo, “the baby is a big deal on it’s own, sweetheart. But doing it with another person. That’s a whole other commitment. Now, listen, I know you and Fabian aren’t… the best at communicating. About this. But I just want  _ you _ to understand how important this is going to be.”

Riz’s stomach does a somersault and his mouth draws in at the corners, but he’s not going to back down on this. Even if it’s mildly terrifying when laid out like that. “I know. I’m… I’m ready. For that.”

“Okay.” She looks pleased by his answer, and turns back to Cathilda, rocking her gently. “You’ve done good, kiddo. You’re going to be a great dad.”

Riz melts, looking at his mom holding his baby, “Thanks, Mom. I won’t be as cool as you, though.”

Sklonda laughs, the harsh bark that instills terror in the prosecutors she argues with at work. “Oh, honey, that wasn’t even a possibility.”

“I’m glad you have such confidence in my abilities.”

“It’s not abilities I’m worried about. It’s coolness level. And you’re pretty badass but—”

“Mom, you can just say we’re both badass and leave it at that.”

Sklonda grins at him, “Whatever you say, kiddo.”

Riz hedges, for a moment, before steeling himself. “I’m gonna take her to meet dad tomorrow, I think. Do you want to come with me?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” she says, and he really didn’t have to be worried to ask, it’s just… sometimes he still tries to be careful, sometimes it still hurts a little bit more than it should. “Is Fabian coming too?”

“I thought it could just be us. A Gukgak adventure.”

“Speaking of, I didn’t hear that in her list of names.”

_ “Mom.” _

“What? Okay, okay, fine, I’ll drop it.” Her eyes say,  _ “For now.” _

Riz sighs and swallows around his grin. His cheeks are starting to hurt.

Adaine arrives a few minutes after Kristen wanders out of the kitchen to them, and her small, “Oh, that is just a human child,” makes Riz really glad his mom is still holding Cathilda, because he can’t help but pull her into a hug.

“Why is everyone getting Riz hugs today except for me?” Kristen complains, and he grumbles, but drags her into one too.

From that point on, the entire apartment steadily fills with people. Fig shows up with Ayda, who immediately enters into a forty minute long staring contest with Cathilda.  _ And seriously, do babies even have that long of an attention span? _

“Guys, you really shouldn’t have,” Fig says, as soon as she walks through the door.

Riz, who is back to baby-holding duty, doesn’t have a free hand to face palm, so he’s left to just look at her with an expression of reluctant indulgence that, in Fig-and-Riz speak, means ‘go on.’ 

“Cathilda! You named her after me.”

Riz opens his mouth, to say what he isn’t sure, but Fabian’s already cutting her off with a quirk of the brows and a scoff, “Aha, we super didn’t.”

Fig just grins bigger, like they’re playing the long con or something. “Cathilda. Ca- _ thilda. _ Hilda. Hilda Hilda. You named her after me! I knew you were good friends.”

“I don’t think being good friends has anything to do with who babies are named after,” Riz says, but it’s drowned out in the general chaos following her statement, most of which is instigated by Fabian.

After ten minutes of arguing and a final decision to tack on a “Hilda” as a second middle name—making her Cathilda Hilda Sklonda Aramais Seacaster, the Small—Fabian’s parents (Cathilda and Hallariel) and Gilear (Gilear) arrive. Riz knows that Fabian is… not nervous in that Fabian is hardly nervous about anything, especially anything he loves, but… on edge about this introduction. Fabian craves approval from every single person he meets; from his friends to random people on the street to his surrogate mother and his real one, no matter how much that real one has messed up in the past. So, Riz knows that he’s worried, a little bit, about this one. Because Fabian is Fabian, regardless of his parentage, but he’s still an Aramais Seacaster, because of it, and years and years of legacies and stories are hard to kill.

Cathilda takes one look at Fabian and Cathilda the Small cradled in Riz’s arms, and breaks into tears, wrapping up her son, and sort-of son in law, and granddaughter in one big hug as she balls into Fabian’s chest. Riz wishes he could do something more for her, but the majority of his attention is caught up in making sure Cathilda the Small doesn’t get overwhelmed by the general party sounds. Fabian seems to have a handle on it, anyway. He knows just what to say to make Cathilda the Black stop crying, to make her crack a smile, and he knows how to respond to Hallariel’s “It hurts, just a little bit,” which is good because Riz is  _ constantly _ at a loss with those.

Gilear… Gilear reaches into the pocket of his shorts and pulls out three warm-to-the-touch containers of yogurt. “One for each of you,” he says, with all of the wisdom of a man who just gave a newly babied… not couple, uh, two people, warm yogurt.

Riz says, “Oh, thank you,” with only minimal laughing, and Fabian is distracted, so no fallout over the yogurt has to occur.

Sandra Lynn, Jawbone, and Tracker arrive next, because this is a family event and they’re definitely family. And because everyone else was bringing their partners so Kristen is too, and Jawbone maybe sort of saved Fabian’s life junior year when he was super depressed, and also because if you take literally everyone else except for Sandra Lynn you kind of have to take Sandra Lynn.

There’s a moment of peace, where everyone sort of mellows out, and then their last guests come piling through the door. Drigka, Gorgug’s seven year old, makes a beeline straight from Ragh’s arms to Kristen’s, already chattering excitedly about all the stories she has to tell Auntie Kristen—a monster in the making, that one. Link, four, bounds gamely over to Gorgug and asks with grabby hands for his dad to pick him up. Riz realizes that, when Cathilda is four, he might be unable to lift her if she’s, say, half his height or more already. But, well, Fabian is more than just eye candy. That’ll have to be his job.

Zelda, hair still in a bisexual bob that’s starting to look more and more like the standard mom haircut, hugs Riz immediately. They’ve grown closer, over the years, than they were originally—when she was just Gorgug’s girlfriend who sometimes hung around their party. She’s quiet, and Riz isn’t  _ loud _ but he definitely likes to talk, and so far in their many years of friendship, she’s been entirely game to participate in every single one of his shenanigans.

Ragh, for his part, claps Fabian on the back and yells, “Hoot Growl,” even though they’ve been out of high school for  _ how many years now? _ It’s fine, though, because Ragh is a sweetheart who, contrary to popular belief, did not peak in high school, and also still coaches bloodrush. Two statements Riz would never think to coexist.

“She’s adorable,” Zelda says, brushing Cathilda’s curls from her forehead. “I’m sure Gorgug didn’t want to let her go.”

“He definitely didn’t,” Riz laughs, and lets himself just look at his baby for a second as the two of them fall into silence.

She’s cute. And adorable. And all of those things that have already been stated tonight. And she’s also  _ his, _ and he has never been more fiercely devoted to anything in his life than he is right now, to this tiny human cradled in his arms.

Fabian must pick up on his sappiness, because he wraps an arm around his shoulders and shoves his face into the side of Riz’s head. Ragh and Zelda seem to look at them, consider, and then leave to hunt down their shared husband and children.

“How’re you holding up?” Fabian asks, quietly, his lips moving against Riz’s hair.

Riz wants to hold this moment in his heart forever.

“Good,” he says, instead.

“We’re going to crash so hard after this.” Fabian laughs, a little, and it shakes Riz’s body too.

“I know. Hopefully she will too.”

“Trust me, after a week on the road with her there’s  _ no way _ she’s going to.”

“Dang,” Riz says, but he turns himself a little further into Fabian’s side. It isn’t a choice, really, to get closer to Fabian. It’s just responding to gravity. Natural. Simple. Comforting. “I kind of don’t want tonight to end, so I might just not go to bed.”

“Oh, yeah?” Fabian asks, and maybe this moving closer was a mistake because it puts Riz’s ear directly over Fabian’s heart and he can hear the sound of it echoing in his chest. “I’m ready for a three day nap fest.”

“I know you are.” And just like everything else, Riz can’t keep the love out of his voice. Couldn’t if he tried but can’t even make an attempt.

At that moment, Cathilda makes a happy little gurgling sound from Riz’s arms, and he glances down at her to find her staring at both him and Fabian like they hung the moon, her big eyes warm and glistening in the light. It’s… it’s incredible.

“Woah,” Fabian whispers.

“Yeah.”

“I’m hungry,” Drigka says, politely, but also loudly because she’s Ragh’s kid and also seven.

It ruins the moment, sort of, but sustains it all the same. Riz laughs and buries his head in Fabian’s chest, and he can feel Fabian smiling into the side of his head. Cathilda gurgles again, and people around them are starting to move for the kitchen and really, they are the hosts, they should be dealing with at least part of this, but they aren’t given much of a chance as their family brings them their plates and sits them down at their table and sweeps them into their stories and conversations like it’s easy, like it’s nothing. Fabian takes Cathilda from him once he’s done eating, to give Riz a chance to demolish his food, and it’s loud and boisterous and  _ KRISTEN DON’T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN,  _ and it’s home. Riz looks over at Fabian, holding their child and smiling out at their family, and Riz thanks whatever god is listening that his home finally came back to him.

No one sticks around for too long after dinner. Gorgug and Ragh and Zelda have to get the kids home before they crash, and almost everyone else is busy with work or something or other that requires their attention early tomorrow. Fabian and Riz’s parents are the last to leave, and when they do it’s to promises of returning very soon with groceries and comfort foods, and then Riz is closing the door behind his mom and turning around to a quiet apartment.

Or, well, not as quiet as usual. Fabian is sitting on the couch, head tilted back in an angle only achievable when napping, snoring softly while little Cathilda sleeps soundly against his chest. Riz takes his crystal out and snaps a picture, pausing for a moment to appreciate them in this vulnerable, hushed moment. Then, Fabian’s head tilts back just a fraction of an inch more over the back of the couch, and Riz really can’t let him maintain that position any longer in good conscious.

“Hey, Fabian, come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Riz carefully takes Cathilda from his arms, his tail wrapping around Fabian’s forearm.

Fabian snorts and sits up straighter, hands reflexively reaching for Cathilda and Riz simultaneously. “Comfortable,” he manages to say, as Riz tugs on his arms with his tail and helps guide him from the couch and down the hallway to Fabian’s room.

Sleepy Fabian is about as close to a zombie as you can get without actually being undead. At least, Riz is pretty sure. He stumbles down their hallway and collapses face first onto his bed, which Riz had made up that morning in preparation for his arrival. Normally, Riz would have told him to suck it in order to hopefully teach him a lesson about relying on other people to perform menial tasks for you your whole life, but this time Fabian had been bringing a baby home,  _ their _ baby home, and Riz isn’t that mean. 

Cathilda’s still sleeping, but Riz read somewhere that you should always change a baby’s diaper before bed, and he’s not too tired, so he does that (gross, once again), and resolves to rock her back to sleep in his arms. By the time he’s turned back to Fabian, debating whether or not to leave until Cathilda’s asleep again, Fabian’s pushed himself up against the headboard and gotten comfortable for sleep; bundling himself under the covers and… yep, taking his shirt and eyepatch off.

“The Ball,” Fabian says, patting the spot on the bed beside him.

“I was just gonna… I wasn’t going to keep you up, Fabian.”

“No, I’m fine with it.” He’s surprisingly lucid. “Stay with me?”

“I have to put Cathilda back to sleep.”

“Then sit, just for a while.”

Riz’s heart might break a hole in his chest as he walks over and hops onto the bed beside Fabian, using his insane dex to orient himself without the use of his hands. Fabian’s back to holding his waist, pulling him in closer and snuggly against him. Riz can’t help but melt, slightly, into Fabian’s shoulder.

“What do you think she’s thinking about?” Fabian asks, using his free hand to smooth the curls back from Cathilda’s head and rub the back of his finger across her cheek.

“I’m not sure. Do babies even think?” Maybe Riz is sleepier than he thought, actually. He’s fighting the urge to bury his nose in Fabian’s neck.

“Obviously, The Ball. Look at her, there’s no way she doesn’t know every single secret of the universe.”

“Every single one, huh?”

“Well, maybe just the important ones.”

“Like…?” Riz repositions Cathilda in his arms, so that he can free a hand.

Fabian capitalizes on his free hand and tangles just their fingers together, in the air over Cathilda’s head. She’s gone all quiet, pensive, watching their movements as they move their hands together. “Like, uh, like stars and magic and, well, love,” Fabian decides. “The stuff that matters.”

“Love?” Riz can’t help but ask.

Cathilda’s little head tilts to track their hands.

“Yeah, love. I think babies can feel that even more than we can. I… well, I told her about you, on the way here. About everyone but, er, especially you, The Ball. And I think she understood the love in that, because she definitely knows… she definitely knows that you’re here for her. For us. That you love her.”

The hand at Riz’s side has started to trace little shapes into his skin there, and it makes Riz sink even more fully into him. He’s purring, a little bit, in the back of his throat. It’s a distinctly goblin thing, entirely different from the purring of a cat or even a tabaxi. Goblin language is throaty, based on the rhythm of sound in the very base of your chest. The purring is sort of like that, a patterned clicking that means utter contentment echoing around in the great cavern of his heart. Riz doesn’t purr a lot. It’s weird, to most other races, and he’s happy a lot, he is, but he’s not usually  _ this _ happy.

Fabian says something that sounds like “babe” but could be “Ball” if he doesn’t investigate it too closely, and Riz is aware he’s blinking slowly at both Cathilda and Fabian—now,  _ that _ is similar to a cat and a tabaxi. “She’s asleep,” Fabian says, and then the endearment that Riz is trying too hard to ignore to process entirely.

“I can wait a few minutes to put her to bed.”  _ I can wait a few minutes to leave. _

“Okay,” Fabian says, and sinks down, dropping their hands to somewhere among the blankets.

Riz turns his head into Fabian’s, his chin resting among the sleep-frazzled curls on the top of his head. Cathilda’s face is once again smoothed with sleep, and Riz knows he’ll join her soon enough if he doesn’t move, but he can’t quite bring himself to end this moment.

He should really go put Cathilda in her crib and finish up the exposé he’s working on, even though he’s technically been on paternity leave for three days already. His workaholic brain hasn’t been able to resist, despite all of the hurried preparations for Fabian’s arrival. And he’s decided to just publish the article on his own, if his editor won’t take it. He’s currently right in the meat of the writing, something he usually can't put down. But, oddly enough, right now he’s thinking of absolutely everything else except the exposé.

Or, not everything else.

Just the important things.

Like hands and curls and sleep and warmth and safety and love.

Fabian tilts his head up to look at Riz again, and Riz has to gnaw at the inside of his cheek to keep from leaning down and meeting him halfway. His silver hair and silver eye are glowing in the dim light of the bedroom, and his warm, dark skin is breathtaking in contrast. The sunken eyelid on his left side is well past the point of bothering Riz; it’s simply a part of him, just like every other beautiful and jagged and scarred piece. Riz wants to wrap his hands around his face and whisper into his skin that he’s gorgeous and he loves him, he loves him, he loves him.

But one of his hands is currently holding their amazing, lovely daughter, and the other is lost among the blankets with the man in front of him, and Fabian’s watching him with something between trepidation and conviction.

And then Riz doesn’t have to lean down, because Fabian’s pushing himself up, and Riz’s eyes are slipping shut as their lips meet. 

Fabian tastes like a mix of Cathilda’s cannolis and Ragh’s goulash and Jawbone’s bread pudding. Fabian tastes like home.

Riz squeezes Fabian’s hand, where he’s got his own wrapped around it, and Fabian squeezes back and tips his head more to kiss him harder. It’s quiet and warm and Riz has never felt this…  _ insulated _ before, like him and Fabian and little Cathilda are the only three people in the world. It’s soft and it’s safe and definitely worth the wait.

Fabian eventually pulls back, and Riz feels his eyes open reflexively, only to find Fabian already watching him. “I’ve wanted to do that forever.”

“Me too,” and Riz can’t hold back his grin.

Fabian’s grinning too, as wide as he can, and Riz looks down to find Cathilda awake again and staring at them with her big, knowing eyes. “She definitely has a weird love sense,” he says, ducking his head to lightly tap his forehead with Fabian’s.

“Definitely.”

“I, well, I do. Love you, I mean. I love you, Fabian.” Not that bad, as far as confessions go.

“I love you too, Riz.” And Riz loves the fact that Fabian has a special nickname for him, but he loves the rare occasions when he uses his real name even more. It makes him melt like butter. “If I had known bringing a baby home would have this reaction, I’d’ve done it sooner.”

“Shut up,” Riz pulls on his hand.

Fabian’s grin only widens, “Hopefully now’s a good time to let you know her full, legal name is Cathilda Hilda Sklonda Aramais Seacaster Gukgak, the Small.”

“Fantasy Jesus, that’s a mouthful,” Riz says, but all he can do is lean in to kiss him again. “It’s perfect. She’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

Fabian’s smile softens, infinitely, and he kisses him again. And again. And again. When they finally part, Riz has returned to that halfway-to-sleep state. Fabian sees it in his face and smirks, “Why don’t you go put Cathilda to bed, and then come back here to me?”

Riz swallows, squeezes Fabian’s hand one last time, and then pushes himself from the bed. “Let me just. Do that.”

He can tell by the way she’s blinking instead of staring eerily up at him that she’s also almost asleep again, so he rocks her for a few seconds in his arms before placing her in the crib. His arm is tired, and muscles he didn’t know he had will probably hurt tomorrow, but leaning over her crib, looking at his little baby, Riz is once again filled with such love and devotion it’s a physical ache in his chest.

“I’m getting cold, The Ball,” Fabian complains.

“Hold on, I just, I can’t say goodnight to her yet.”

Riz reaches out and smooths the hair from her face, and she smiles in her sleep at his touch, and Riz loves and Riz loves and Riz loves.

**Author's Note:**

> twenty minutes later riz has to get up again to take care of cathilda lmao.
> 
> okay so. i might do a sequel of this but i'm not entirely sure so here are the rest of my thoughts:  
> -cathilda aramais seacaster gukgak, the small, is in fact the largest gukgak in recorded history  
> -cathilda calls riz "baba" because fabian calls him "the ball"  
> -cathilda is also an assassin rogue and plays "sneak attack" with riz and fabian from a very young age. this entails stabbing a fake knife into the closest person available and usually ends with riz knocked on the floor and fabian dying dramatically  
> -fabian is a dance mom, and also retires to become a stay at home dad because he's rich enough and has gone on plenty of adventures
> 
> thank you so much for reading!! as always, i'm on tumblr at [labelleofbelfastcity](https://labelleofbelfastcity.tumblr.com/) and don't be shy to leave a comment!


End file.
